aki.penguin

2010-02-04T10:33:00.002+08:00

050210
sweet dreams.

Turn the lights on

Every night I rush to my bed
With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you
When I close my eyes I'm going out of my head
Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hands and be my guide?

Clouds filled with stars cover the skies
And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby
What kinda dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)

Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true
(Turn the lights on)

My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air
'Cause you're my

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)

I mention you when I say my prayers
I wrap you around all of my thoughts
Boy you're my temporary high

I wish that when I wake up you're there
To wrap your arms around me for real
And tell me you'll stay by side

Clouds filled with stars cover the skies
And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby
What kinda dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)

O Allah, so tomorrow it is ..
I am determined that you'll give me this opportunity.
Aku Yakin. Please, Oh Gracious Lord.

2010-01-28T20:11:00.003+08:00

281001
crawl.

lately i've been at the bottom side of my life,
as obstacles kept appearing right before me.
i stumbles and fall. tried to get back on feet
yet again i flounder.
but you know, its not the end of the world
even if the universe seems to fall upon you.
He tested us because He wants us to be strong.
like what Coach said once;
"be strong. stronger than strong
and even strongest than stronger.
oh i miss her so much.
i am here, praying so hard.
and this time im taking things seriously.
i need this opportunity.
i need this once, also for my future.
oh Allah, i know you are listening to my pleads.
All praises to Allah.

currently, this lyrics are very meaningful to me.
If we crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no wind
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl.

so when we flounder, just be strong and get on your feet once more.
even if you felt like dying.
because our duty in this world is to work hard.
don't give up hope because He is Arrahman Arrahim.
He loves us all. but at times He makes things tough
for us to realise and remember who we actually are.
Nothing, but only His humble servant.
All praises to Allah.

2010-01-18T00:22:00.002+08:00

180110
bondings.

after such long period of time
giving nonsensical excuses not to post,
so its about now, i am posting- again
since i've driven myself into this;
relationships, friendships, links and bonds.
oh God im missing my 4209. may Allah bless them.

here it goes.
what is friendship, without ups and downs?
isnt that what we call parts and parcel of a relationship?
as she goes around throwing questions at herself.
standing at the edge of a mountain, searching for the centre of gravity,
seemingly nowhere in sight. she's at her wits end.
in such deteriorating plight, she swears in excruciation.
she sobs so hard as if theres no tomorrow.

its not about picking at you nor blaming you.
neither is it about to seek empathy.
hence its to picture the agony of being in such a depressing plight.
this feeling wouldnt creep in, unless you are bounded to her.
its a simple method. chained together, and it becomes a relationship.

speaking of which, it rings the bell
about what sir sarifuddin once shared,
sahabat dunia akhirat.
lets dig, deep down and comprehend its meaning.
simply beautiful.

2009-11-12T23:49:00.003+08:00

121109
its more.

i sat for my final paper.
as my heart gets ready to jump,
to let it feel the breeze,
to let it finally be as ease..
it is now, broken into pieces.

i am utterly upset.

both the clock hands strike twelve;
Happy Birthday my dearest brother.
you've seen this world for twenty years..
im sure you are now wise in making decisions.
keep on being a humble servant of God,
being a fillial son and a trustworthy brother,
and a respectful policeman. All the best in Life, brother.

2009-10-23T20:46:00.003+08:00

231009
even though.

my heart jumps with joy,
my lips curls a smile,
my eyes locked towards that face,
the face i knew would make my day.
elated. ecstatic i felt.
Nuratiqah Malik Yee is the name.

though i may not be the closest,
though i did not see you quite often,
though i wasn't the one texting you everyday,
though i have never chat with you via phone.
Yee, you know i love you.
because i believe "walau jauh di mata, tapi dekat dihati"
and thats what matters to me.

i missed that adorable fair face,
i missed that laughter of yours,
i missed the support you gave in court,
i missed the "tak pe tak pe" *dgn tangan-tangan die*
i missed making stupid faces with you.
i missed everything i did .. i missed being around you.
i missed you Nuratiqah Malik Yee. with all my heart.

three more weeks, and we're off having fun.
i'll be waiting. but now, let's excel together
towards our goals. Allah Ma'ana.
and coach, i missed you too.

2009-10-05T17:53:00.003+08:00

051010
right.

i screwed everything, didnt i?
i potrey the wrong impression, didnt i?
i lead you to a misinterpretation, didnt i?
save your words.
thank you for the effective slap onto my face,
i think i know where i really stand now.
don't you worry, i'll give you those.
and i'll cease appearing before you.
i plead you my deepest apology.

you have my words.

2009-10-04T21:32:00.002+08:00

041009
i dont want to fall for it.

im back again, but maybe not for long.
its been months i've kept myself in silence.
so here's my piece of mind for today.

theres this heart, i'd yearn to comprehend.
a heart as vast as the ocean,
as deep as the unknown ocean's depth.
as serene as the birds chipping,
however as ferocious as the waves that kills.
i failed to realise that i was drowning whilst diving deep into your heart.
i didnt want to see myself pathetically lost.
i wantonly deny to this limited strength i have,
thought i would be able to .. someday. just someday.

but i know, i lack efficiency.
like you said to me, "you will never understand."
similar to when i told you, i'd want to live on the Moon,
or even, i'd wish to pluck the stars for you.
pardon me, i overlooked at things.

you, like gold amongst diamonds.
too precious for me to let go,
however too hefty for me to uphold.
im lost

2009-06-17T19:50:00.023+08:00

170609
you'll be back.

to my dearest Seniors,
kakJam and geng who are to pursue in UM.
Fareng and geng who are to pursue in UIA.
kakAtiQah and geng who are to pursue in Al-Azhar.
i wish you All the very best. though you seniors may be far from my sight,
insyaAllah you seniors are right here, deep inside my heart.
through ITMAWAT i got to know you.
through obstacles i got to comprehend you.
through my mistakes i see the righteous in you.
and through all these, i love you.

thank you for the priceless memory we have shared together.
thank you for the support when we were at our wits end.
thank you for the advices you gave.
thank you for the guidence you have led us till the end.
and thank you for accepting the way we are.

-Allah ma'ana. =)

2009-06-15T19:35:00.003+08:00

150609
its a present.

for what i've heard,
the past is history.
a history that has been written in one's memory.
the future is a mystery.
a mystery that is known by the One and only.
and the Present.
the present, is a gift.
so here is a gift for you.

the music playing is what i've brought for you.
now im saying, you were the weakling
my dear Darling.
who, were the only one that makes me swing.
its not for desire, neither it is to fulfil what i crave,
but this is just what you've turned me into.

2009-06-06T09:33:00.012+08:00

050609
its home.

i could hardly bring myself to sleep.
i rolled and awaited the day
which was practically just hours away.
i wonder and speculate what and how things are ahead.
there was anxious, however there was also fear.

everyone seemed excited and elated. with no doubt of excluding myself.
i kept myself in silence along the journey
the journey that will mean a tremendous change in my life.
but of course, the first impression of the site was unpleasant.
too many sighs and complains
we are, those who were pampered with comfortable places and well-off condition.
tiny winged-creatures were able to made us shout and run.
afterall, it was only day one.

"dua bende yang kite kene lupe ape die?"
"makan dan minum." second day was where it all begins.
every checkpoint has its own target.
basically its teamwork, endurance and never to give up.
it was tedious. everything was tedious.
when the darkness fell, here was the one time life experience.
we were able to picture the grossness and untidiness of it
however, it was far worst than we thought.
again complains and groans were thrown.
finally we sat along the stream.
the magnificent stream of pure colourless water with aligned rocks completes by the soothing rhythm of the flow.
i was breathless; SubhanaAllah. MasyaAllah. Allahu Akbar.

this is it.
the forest. its a heaven for a nature's lover
despite the kissings of mosquitos and leeches.
"hud hud!!" with a seconds counted, "huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddd!"
(oh that voice was mesmerizing).
it was the ultimate challange to climb by grabbing tree trunks.
it was awesome beyond words.
and when the sun changed its shift for the moon to shine
it was midnight for solo walk and another adventure game.
it was an absolute pitch dark
but Allah knows best, it rained heavily resulting a full bright impeccable moon surrounded by gorgeous stars hung against the clear clouds.
its again, an experience beyond words can describe.

a snapped of finger, its day four.
i abhore goodbyes and so longs
but insyaAllah if we are not meant to meet again in earth,
we will meet in the wonderful Paradise in hereafter.

PokNik and Abi; thank you. thank you and thank you for all of it.
Akhs and Ukhts in rebutia; thank you, keep in touch insyaAllah Ukhuwah Fillah.
Teammates and Ustazahs; thank you for going through it all.
thank you for taking care of us till your wits end.
Ayah Ibu; i get to see them the moment i step into my house,
ct sayang ibuayah teramat sangat.

ana, siti zakiah sayangkan antum semua. love beyond words.
Allah, thank you. thank you for giving me the chance to explore what im lack of.
thank you for giving me the chance to meet those wonderful creation of Yours.
and thank you for giving me the chance to breathe again.

Thank You.

2009-05-31T22:28:00.006+08:00

310509
a monumental event.

for that fraction of second
for that signature you scribble
for that vow he had spoken
for that overwhelming shook of hands,
you are now; a wife of Mohd Hafiz Bin Sanban.

it was when i see you unlock the door
and stepped into the newest phase of a married lass.
i see the determination in you to hold the responsibles,
to be the bestest of wife for a chosen husband
as marrige completes one's Faith for a muslim.

hamdanlillah, hamdanlillah.
everything went smoothly as planned.
apart from fatigue, we curve a smile,
a smile of satisfaction and happiness,
it was, afterall the one and only experience.

kakak, Ukhtii, dearest sister
i am so very happy for you.
congratulations.
stay strong and confident for those are
commonly the challanges in life one has to face.
i love you. and i love you.
be a good and the best wife.
Allah akan sayang~ *smiles*

2009-05-31T00:53:00.006+08:00

300509
sister's pre-wedding day.

my Dear, Dearest sister.

when the sun takes over and shines the gloomy skies,
it is then, finally! the biggest occasion of your life.
within this twelve hours as the clock ticks
tomorrow is definitely the beginning of a new phase in your life.
you are to be a wife. syurga akak sekarang beralih ke tapak kaki suami.

of course its an exciting event for me,
where im suppose to be looking forward
however this tiny feeling is vice versa.
an undoubt yes i'd say im happy for you
for God has chosen the bestest pair.

of all these years, i've not been very pleasant.
but i am assure of how much you know me
as you were the one who saw mother labouring that divine child
who turned into some filthy human being from the eyes of God.
do know that i care for you apart from my ego.
and always know that i love you wholeheartedly.
i'll miss you.

semoga pernikahan kamu berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat.
jadilah isteri yang terbaik.
insyaAllah you'll be one of those amongst God's beloves.
Mabruk ya Ukhti. =)

2009-05-25T20:52:00.000+08:00

250509
come on get me higher.

I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin
I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water if I can tell you what’s next
Make you believe, make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violence, sweet
Perfect words that you said

-wallahi, ana musytaqah ilaik.

2009-05-22T17:37:00.002+08:00

220509
on going.

i've been thinking of ceasing all these.
cease blogging i meant.
but yeah, we'll go about it again.

sayang blog ni~

2009-05-21T22:55:00.010+08:00

210509
doushite?

why does it linger in my mind, not yours?
why does anguish and guilt blooms in me, not in you?
why do i feel sorry, not you?
why do i feel this massive weigh, not you?
why does it all comes back to me, not to you?
why did i regret, not you?
why was i offended, not you?
why do i try to mend things out, but not you?
because you don't care, however i do?

thats just me.
we contradict, dont you think?
like i, the dweller and you, the voyager.
for one who dwells into problems,
and another who free himself from problems.

maalish, Allahu a'lam.
-you are exuding my past.

2009-05-20T21:10:00.007+08:00

200509
guilt.

i dont know what to say.
i was able to make you remorse,
but theres was no satisfaction about it.
however, it was anguish that creeps and blooms.

like i said,
i am a person who is indecisive
who is able to change her view overnight.
who always regrets the spoken words,
and who is always willing to be defeated.
untuk jage hati~
you pleaded and you apologised, twice.
twice was what i told you;"will it change anything?"

it was the first time. and i did it.
it was the first time. and i said it.
it was the first time. i made things crystal clear,
but it was the first time i truly am sorry.

now is my turn.
begging for forgiveness,
but hey zakiah; "will it change anything?"
and i stood there, lost with words.

-im feeling dreadly awful.
those were the truth, the only truth i had with me.

2009-05-15T23:42:00.016+08:00

150509
the beginning of a new phase.

Dear, dearest brother

im bringing my hands together to signify the feeling of proud i have in you.
its the second time i'm seeing my elders graduating
and i could envisage myself facing the same situation.
after the sheer hardwork(yeah right eh abang.)
you deserve it. its not just a piece of paper
however it a piece of evidence that proves the success
of the first phase in life. hamdanlillah.
all the best in everything brother.
it sure did inspire me to strive in life.

i love you abang. =)

2009-04-29T15:30:00.006+08:00

and it starts with;
Tomorrow.

~~300409.~~
English 1
B.Melayu 1

~~040509.~~
Insyak 1
Maths 1

~~050509.~~
Insyak 2
Maths 2

~~060509.~~
Fiqh/Faraidh
Irk 2

~~070509.~~
Hadith
Science 1

~~080509.~~
Tauhid
English 2

~~110509.~~
Sejarah
Physics 2

~~120509.~~
Nahu
Chemistry 3

~~130509.~~
Tafsir
Biology 1

~~140509.~~
B.Melayu 2
Biology 2

~~150509.~~
~~Irk 1~~

i am in need of your doas'.
do make doa for me.
i am giving my best,
although everything seems vague
and i hestitate where i stand.

i deliberately misplace you-
Allahu wa Rasul Ma'i.
it's just getting started.

2009-03-24T18:18:00.013+08:00

240309
someone's watching over you.

movies. threaters. actings. roles and plays.
it needs a scriptwriter, a director, a cameraman
and the prominent one will be the actor actresses.
as the scriptwriter writes his story,
the director directs the play, the cameraman roles his camera,
the actor actresses gets ready..
and "action!"

what about life?
should i come up akin to the above? Yes.
but apparently im not saying that life is like a movie.
movies are fantasy filled with editting beyond imaginations.
instead life are reality filled with happenings beyond expectations.

life. reality.
our stories were written even before the earth existed.
our lifes were plotted the way He wanted it to be.
everything were directed in our minds,
our eyes are the camera, the evidence that it happened,
and we are no other than the player.
we play our role till our lifetime expires,
we follow as the story flows..
however we don't know whats the story is about.

life is filled with mystery
of what lies ahead
of what is it all about
of why we subsist
of how its going to end
Or of how we wanted it to end.

Coach,
i comprehend that it is hard for you,
though i may not gone through it,
i'll just want you to know that we're here for you.
and that someone's watching over you.
i believe the strength in you is invincible.
zutto ikite, Coach.
Allah is looking after you and your family. =)

2009-03-05T23:57:00.013+08:00

050309
it goes together.

it happens when your brain works together,
hand in hand with your heart and your muscles.
it happens when your heart and your muscle
works together, willingly with your brain.
it happens when these two elements are able
to tolerate so as to give and take.

when you unintentionally touched a hot surface,
the receptors underneath your skin would detect it
simultaneously it transmitts an electrical signal,
converts to chemical neurotransmitters between the gaps
of the synapses where it eventually converts itself back
into an electrical signal and way it goes through the spinal cord
directly to the brain.
as a result, you happened to move your hand away hastily.
but what if .. what if the muscles disobey brain's demand?
you'd be wounded. or worst burned.

dearest fifth piece of my heart,
you've been dwelling in my mind lately.
apparently, we tried being the bestest of friends
where we made our vows to advise one another
help one another and play our parts as a friend.
however, all i've been seeing are that our roles
has been repeating with no more than just null.
i've been visualizing your skin get burned ..
from first degree to the second and as it follows.

we don't nagg. we don't point whats right or wrong
because we know what we individuals need is just a Reminder.
we remind each other to signify our love and care.
though how good a human may be, he still needs to be reminded.
but its worthless if you still wouldn't want to
put an effort to instill some improvements in your performance.

we may be annoyed. we may be frustrated.
with no other reason than to see ourselves shine gorgeously up ahead.
and that we cherish this unaffortable friendship till eternity.

Allahu A'lam.
i've said my piece.

2009-02-25T14:22:00.007+08:00

250209
backbiting me?

and thats basically what you were doing.
its okey for me. maalish. mafi musykilah, ukht.
i won't let you die in hunger..
you are pleased to eat more of my flesh.
do continue with your ghibah.
keep chewing me alive.

you started it.
but i am never gonna make my start.
i want to leave a pleasant and memorable legacy
so that people would smile when i came to their thoughts.
not some stinking shit legacy of yours.
don't you worry. you're still someone who i respect.
its a good thing though to question yourself
whether do or do you not deserve my respect. =]

Allahu ma'i.

2009-02-22T23:06:00.014+08:00

220209
just the way i feel.

time. it passes like a bolt of lightning.
we dont even realise it.
similar to the things happening around us.
for a day has passed, then a month followed by a year. im worn out~

i didnt see it coming in such a haste.
it happened instantaneously before i get to take my pace.
no, i do not subsist over Your shadows surrounding me.
though it seemed like i deliberately let You flee.
i missed You, reluctantly however.
for i know its just now or never.

my sincere words:
i should get back up my feet and move on.
i have to be tough and strong to face it all.
(if) i could, let You go.
i will let You know how it feels like.
i am trying to neatly construct a sentence for You,
saying
"don't worry, i no longer depend on You."-
though i am barely breathing.

2009-01-26T11:07:00.005+08:00

260109
your pick.

bismillahirahmanirahim~

so whats up with that image? some might ask.
if you were to colour the butterfly,
would the outcome ever be similar to those of others?
no. definately no.
same goes to you individuals' favourite colour.
some say yucks to this. some say nice to that.
some might even say okey to both.

recently, i've been on the bottom side of my life
the colours that beautifies my world seemed awfully bleached.
not that my visual purple is bleached temporarily, yet for long.
for all these are commonly related to those bodies implanted with souls.
men. human being. and what they call people.

how'd you feel if you were told that people talks about you?
i mean, not to strengthen your pride.
okey here's what i feel. "Ohh yeahhhhh?"
yeah thats what i feel. what do i care?
the mouths are theirs. the words are theirs. so as the retributions.
and now i say "yaahhhhhhhhoooooooo!!"

as i was saying, let them say what they want.
let them be happy with the way they are.
let them feel the satisfaction on rottening ones name.
what do you care, since they don't actually know you?
but of course, they'd drag the old immature stories of yours
having this perception that you are similar to that grandmothers story.
what do they know? you answer me.

come on people. no one knows better than Him.
you don't go around happily and say bad things about others, do you?
then i might consider that as your hobby.
what is past, is over, people.
siape yang tak nak berubah? siape yang tak nak perbaiki diri?
do we not learn from mistakes? yes we do. where mistakes make us wiser.

however, its up to the individuals.
its your pick.
still not feeling happy?
stand before me and talk your heart out.
that'll do enough.

Allahu A'lam.

2009-01-02T21:27:00.016+08:00

020109

al 'ilm.

Say: Though the sea became ink for the Words of my Lord,

verily the sea would be used up before the words of my Lord were exhausted,

even though We brought the like thereof to help. (109)

Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad):
Kalaulah semua jenis lautan menjadi tinta untuk menulis Kalimah-kalimah

Tuhanku, sudah tentu akan habis kering lautan itu sebelum habis Kalimah-kalimah Tuhanku, walaupun Kami tambahi lagi dengan lautan yang sebanding dengannya,
sebagai bantuan. (109)

Surah Al-Kahf.

Jazakillahu kheir jaza' ya Ukht.
hamdanlillah, i am proud to say that
You did guide me well all this while.
thank you, Allah. and thank You.
do continue to guide me till forever.
Uhibbuki fillah.

2008-12-31T01:39:00.007+08:00

311208
even as tiny.

have you ever wondered about God's will?

don't we used to listen to Daddy who told
us the non-fictional story of how powerful God is..
and how we used to fear God when we were at
the young ages of life with unknowledgeable thinkings..
even how we used learned to bow whole-heartedly
upon God, the Almighty. do we not?

somehow, i was awakened and knocked on the head
by what happened moments ago. however, it made me smile.
a long-lost bestfriend greeted me online..
with an intention of asking couples of questions.
how to perform tahajjud? how to perform taubat?
MasyaAllah. i was astonished.
it touches my heart, although at the same time
i felt "satu penamparan hebat ke pipi" like what You used to say.
it may be nothing to those, it may be a small issue to that
but it really is something tremendous to me.
i am glad. Glad to see that God has given her a true friend
who would face thick and thin of life together.
Hamdanlillah.

what that came to mind was..
oh Lord, You made me see how neglet i was
oh Lord, You made me realise that each second of my life
there are millions of Human yearning for Your Love and nothing more.
oh Lord, You awakened me from the dark boastful egocity person..
what have i been doing while others weep and yearn?
have i applied the basic knowledge of a muslim to my daily routine?
i am able to see them taking a step towards You, closer and closer..
yet i? i am still here. million million miles far from You.

are you able to imagine what i am visualizing?
i feel humiliated. and yes i envy them.
though it may be their first time performing the solat..
only God knows how deeply sincere they can be,
compared to me?

oh Allah~
it made me smile as i get to see the Wonder of Your will.
it made me think how far i have been left out.
oh Allah~
do bless them with what they truly deserve.
Thank You, Allah.

-ibadah, do it constantly alike the dew that condenses every morning.
and not like the heavy rain that comes by once every blue moon.-
its not the Quantity. but its the Quality that matters.
WallahuA'lam.

2008-12-30T19:54:00.002+08:00

301208

okay, yay im doing this for myra.
or maybe just for fun.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
-Siti Zakiah Zakaria.
-Ct.
-Jak.

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
-jakko.
-jacky jak jug.
-jacob?

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
-stood amid the crowd of mrt passangers.gee
-sat at coffee bean.
-walked back home.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
-my five senses.
-preferrable to be alone.
-everything God has given.

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
-my own weakness
-fear crowd
-my fierce face, myra?

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
-muslim
-malay
-malaysian? ok no. singaporean, right dad?

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
-the Supreme.
-the Almighty.
-the One and Only.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
-clothes.
-hairband.
-spectacles.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
-water to live.
-food for the sake of my stomach.
-erm, money?

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
-Quran.
-Handphone.
-Spectacles.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
-Nasyid bands.
-OneRepublic.
-Backstreetboys.

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
-talk to myself.
-watch tom and jerry.
-watch P.ramlee movies.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
-belaian ibu, Hijjaz.
-love story, Taylor Swift.
-Say(all i need), OneRepublic.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
-if that'll be after O levels, i'd wanna gain more more more knowledge.
-i'd wanna work.
-i'd wanna be social?

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
-nothing because i take mistakes as steps to become wiser.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
-honesty.
-faithful.
-truthful.

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'RE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
-still yet to give, but i will try to stand for the Human Rights.
thats politic, is that not?
i want to fight for those Muslims killed by the Kafirun!

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in order):
-i can't stand watching muslims get killed and the faking news.
-i am not missing You. thats totally a lie.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
-he himself.
-colour of the eyes.
-anything that wouldn't possibly change when he gets old.

THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
-honesty.
-faithful.
-responsible.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
-the things that God forbids.
-stop gaining knowledge.
-being rude.

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
-whats past is past, though somewhat i miss being a child.
-i miss being a divine baby.
-i miss being with You.

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
-yeah, new sony ericsson phone.
-another sweet memory shared with You.
-a gift nothing more than having a happy family.

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
-i am who i am for God created me.
-He tested me with sore and pain.
-i am His Creation and He who i yearn His love.

THREE OF YOU YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
-talking to myself.
-write.
-scribble.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
-i want You here.
-a long conversation with You.
-hearing stories from You.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
-chemist.
-astronomer.
-what about.. an islamic scientist. =)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
-Siberia, Russia.
-Hokkaido, Japan.
-New Zealand.

THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
-Eyore the blue donkey.
-Tom and Jerry.
-Kon from japanese anime Bleach.

THREE BOY’S NAMES:
-Zakaria.
-Ahmad Aizuddin.
-Adi Rusyaidi, Adi Rusyaidi, Adi Rusyaidi. ha ha

THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
-Hazwani
-Fadiilah
-Fauziyah
(i need Ten slots for my Girls name. =] )

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
-Hajj.
-Umrah Umrah Umrah as many times and possible.
-Al-Azhar Student. insyaAllah.

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ OR DIE PAINFULLY:
-the laughing gang, 'Aisy
-the young photographer, Hazwani
-the extreme perfectionist, Ukht Hasanah
(die painfully? Ouch.)

2008-12-22T07:41:00.006+08:00

221208
sick package.

eventually, apart from getting swells and bruises,
pains and complains,
i am now able to comprehend what lies within
the hearts of our parents; ibu and ayah.
they conceal the worries and sadness behind the scoldings.
for "kite marah kerana sayang."
i didn't nor did i ever give a thought
until i realised that they showered me with their
love and care even before ibu laboured me.

we take things for granted, do we not?
im afraid i am not able to deny that.

beneath that beauty lies a warrior.
same goes to,
beneath my egositm lies a little someone soft-hearted.
and yes, i am enduring this agony.
God~ give me strength, i want to get well and healthy.

i am missing one of His creation.
somewhere out there,
praying for the best
as well as in a pink of health.
do ponder the words i delivered to you.
i meant good, and not to hurt.

let's buckle our seat belts,
let's fold our sleeves,
let's do the best for Our Thing.
ITMAWATs', Let Us Do Our Thing Together.
insyaAllah it'll be a success.
Wallahua'lam.

2008-12-17T23:05:00.016+08:00

171208
nothing.

nothing seems to entertain me
nothing seems worth to be excited of
nothing seems to bother me
nothing seems to make sense..

of all i could visualize is a wilting flower
lack of water. lack of sunlight.
of all i could feel is left in the dark
not a glimmer of sunlight. nor a pleasant scent.
of all i could listen is the dripping of a leaking pipe
rusty. and unwanted.

nothing. not a thing. zero.
not even a soul. pathethic.

anti~ maafkan ana.

2008-12-07T17:23:00.005+08:00

071208
i brokedown.

as i watch,
my tear bank was filled to its brim.
the hot tear starts to accumulate
and it rolls down slowly towards the ground.

the Ka'abah i yearn to see it standing before me.
will i be able to perform the Umrah?
even Hajj?
will i be given a chance to accomplish the last Five Rukun?
Oh Allah~ do take my soul away
if i am given the chance to step the Holy Place; Mekah.
Oh Allah~ May the Muslim performing the Hajj strive their
prime aim for A Mabrur Hajj.
the Jemaah are gathering themselves at the Arafat,
though We, the other Muslims fast.
May we will be bless alike the Jemaahs' for their hardship
and patience.

Oh Allah~ i now get to see the Flawless creation You created.
Subhanallah.

2008-12-01T23:27:00.007+08:00

011208
just you.

i knew it all along
though i kept denying to acknowledge.
i know, i can feel it coming.
i know, it is coming back.
i know, it is definitely coming back.
again.
and i abhore.
but i will make sure everything will turn futile.
as history will never get the chance to repeat itself.

i am ~~weak~~STRONG with Allah and Rasul in mind and heart.
Sayonara.

2008-11-30T09:54:00.005+08:00

301108
confidence.

All people have abilities with weaknesses and strengths,
They build them up and over time increase them by great lengths.
But there is a power from within, more troublesome than any mess,
With power and strength great enough to shut out happiness.
A veil of discomfort, a wave of rejection, a voice that drags you down,
A sleepless malice in disguise, like a terrorist dressed as a clown.
When released from within its owner it affects his friends and neighbors,
It wears them out and wears them down, like painful endless labors.
Yet still inside there is hope for all to withstand this treacherous power,
A vast energy, a radiant spell, an evil banishing shower.
It brings love and peace, the warmth of fleece, with joy to fill our hearts,
A never-ending happiness that spreads throughout our parts.
It's confidence that empowers us to achieve our lifetime goals,
Our hopes and dreams, or so it seems, to fill the gaps within our souls.

hamdanlillah. apart from losing, i've gained something.
something that might change everything; experience.
i'm looking forward for another sparring.
but now, with more confidence and strategies in mind. =)

"she was Good. do Not disgrace her."
rest assured, i will put my every effort in it.
its passion. insyaAllah, i can.

2008-11-22T14:47:00.002+08:00

221108
reminisce.

it was those times
i would scribble down all my feelings
i was not able to express it literally
i would prefer to pour my emotions
i would prefer to drench my book with tears
i would prefer to be mute and get swayed by the music.

somewhat, all of those has long forgotten.
the books i kept securely among books shelved,
i took it out and begun reading..
i managed to crave a bitter smile on my lips
thinking how silly i were. realising so much things i faced.
i doubt i am an absolute change person now
since portion of the habits are still intact within me
it is nice to reminisce the times you faced sometimes
to allow your emotions take its flight
to let yourself feel what has left behind.

Mon Magnifique. that familar name i knew.
Mon Magnifique, you have done a tremendous change in me.
Mon Magnifique, you taught me the meaning of Love and Life.
Mon Magnifique, you comprehended me the word patient.
Mon Magnifique, you are still in my mind.
Mon Magnifique, i miss you as much as i did.
Mon Magnifique, Thank You. Thank you for everything.
May God bless you, Mon Magnifique.

2008-11-15T08:13:00.005+08:00

151108
the disasterous Darwinism.

its beneficial.
its Knowledge.

2008-11-10T19:20:00.006+08:00

101108
finale.

i see you standing proudly on the thone
i see you crave a serene smile
i hear people cheering that familiar name
i see people idolizing that familiar face
mesmerized by the voice as you speak
by a gaze.
its that look i was able to comprehend
to let go everything that i once owned
for thats what you have been yearning
and pestering me about.

i see her gazing upon you
stuck in the field between egotism and desire.
as her ego was about to take a pace
her heart fell for the words of desire.
i see her silently crave that familiar name
i hear her words of hatred and pain,
i smile however knew the words she did not mean.
i feel her stuggle in this agony
but i have known since then, she was willing to.

nonetheless, i hit the spot.
with this conscience knowing i was right ever since.
sorely, she has been hoping. still
again i smile, with tear.
lub and dub my heart pounds to cease.

with courage i take my pace
and let bygone be bygone.
i suppose, i will.. i will survive.

its just You, Me and Her.

2008-10-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

091008
i ponder.

uncountable days has passed
numerous things happened
for a moment i crave a smile,
the next moment it fades
hot tears scalded my cheeks as it rolls
the only thing my heart did,
was to seek Allah's Love and no other.

my heart is left a quarter.
literally.
both are a million miles apart
with responsibilities we were given.
i ponder. i reflect. i recollect those days
that still run vividly in mind..
from the day i met you until the day we hope to meet soon.
you never fail to advise me though a word it was
you never fail to correct me though unrealizing it was
it is, for my Life. a muslimah Life i am leading.

i ponder.
i smile.
and i thank Allah,
for An extrodinary gift i would never ask for more.
and i thank Allah again,
for choosing me as the one who deserves the gift.

lately, i had my newest obsession.
to read posts. not just posts with empty words,
but posts of them who are facing the University Life.
its the spirit they have i adore.
its the dream they turned reality i respect.
and its the patient they have in them.. i envy most.

oh ALLAH,
do bless them with the best.
uhibbukuna Fillah~

2008-09-28T06:50:00.001+08:00

280908
oh Allah~

oh Allah~
ramadhan is about to come to its end.
how i wish if it could stay..
but thats the reason why it is special
for it only comes once a year, thirty-days per year.

oh Allah~
since the early ramadhan till the end,
You have given me a wonderful gift..
a gift that colours my life,
a gift that accompanies me through obstacles,
a gift, i have put it deep inside my heart,
a gift, i wouldn't ask for more.
I Thank You, Allah..
I Thank You, Allah..

oh Allah~
hold my hands if i am about to go astray,
i am a weak human being, a reckless creation you made..
i need Your Love and so does Rasulullah's.
i am trying hardest. i want to get close.
i feel your presence.. i know You are there.

oh Allah~
im confused.
no one knows Best except You,
whats in my heart and in his too.

oh Allah~
do bless us with the best of what we deserve.
i need your protection.. i need your guidence..
as i am still, a weak creation you made
to worship no other than You, Allah.
and Muhammad is Your messanger.

~ramadhan, tak akan ku biar ia berlalu begitu saja..~

2008-09-11T22:23:00.000+08:00

110908
unintentionally yet unacceptable.

Trust can be given or it can be earned,
For some it isn’t even a concern.

At times it's so complex,
Many wish it were a simple reflex.

Just when it seems you've found the one,
You accuse him for something another has done.

It isn’t fair to make one pay for another’s sin,
Yet you find it so hard to trust again.

Give yourself time,
To sit back and watch him self define.

Perhaps then you can lower the walls,
And let love flow like the Niagara falls.

by D.L. Carroll

-trust. i can hardly trust none of any living soul.
i know, its just a slight fault..
but it shows how reluctant and reckless you are
on holding the Trust i have given you.
oh Allah~ it is such a letdown.
thank You, Allah for the realization..
for i have neglet You for quite a wee.
I Love You, Allah.

2008-09-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

080909
short and sweet.

firstly, i'd like to thank a Thousand
for being the pieces of my wonderful memories.
its true, at a point of time..
i wanted the past to be recollect once more..
but i know its never a possibility of it to happen.
i coaxed my heart, telling that time changed..
humans change.. and i need a change in myself too.

though its my first camp with them..
i think they are as best as the previous.
to my Mantans', deeply in my heart i am sorely missing you all.
the camps we've been togeter.. it can never be forgotten.
through the hardships and happy moments,
i'll cherish it in my heart and my mind.
to my Excos'.. you've made me love you all.
uhibbukum fillah~

im lost of words.
i know words can't express what i've gone through
for the past week.
but all that i can affort to share is that..
every each human needs to change.
change for the better. and the best.
one step at a time.. im sure we'll be able to succeed.
success Now, and the Hereafter.

ya Allah~ ana tak mudah jatuh cinta..
melainkan Cinta kepadaMu ya Rabb.. ya Rasulullah..
bimbinglah aana.. jikalau ana lalai kau gengamlah tangan ana..
bisik ke telinga ana supaya aana kembali ke jalan yang Benar..
ana perlukan Kau ya Allah.. ya Rasulullah..
hati ini MilikMU dan bukan milik mana-mana insan..
ini semua hanya pinjaman buat sementara.. pinjaman
supaya ana dapat beribadah kepada yang Maha Kuasa..
ya Allah~ Ya Allah~ Ya Allah~
ya Rasulullah Kekasih hati ana..
Cinta ana hanya buat Kau berdua..

2008-09-01T05:09:00.000+08:00

010908
Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ramadhan!

Ramadhan Kareem to all Muslims.
May this year's Ramadhan be the best
as we seize all the opportunity that
we've been given from Allah to repent
and to lead ourselves on His Right Path
for those who He Loves.
Amin~

ya Allah,
Aku harapkan Ramadhan ini lebih bermakna
dari Ramadhan yang lepas, kerana ana
tahu walaupun dia jauh beribu batu..
tetapi dia tetap dekat dihati ana. tambahan lagi,
kini ana berpunya teman seperjuangan.
alhamdulillah~

2008-08-23T18:28:00.000+08:00

230808
You are near.

".. I expose my distress and anguish only unto Allah..."
Surah Yusuf.(86)

oh Allah
each drop of tear to the ground
let it be a mark
a symbol that i have faced the portions of Life

oh Allah
do strengthen this Heart
do toughen this Heart
so as this Heart won't easily get offended
nor easily will it be defeated due to lack of self-confidence

oh Allah
they have given me the Trust
they have proven me that i am capable
this position i hold
isn't for name nor fame
but its the responsibility
and my chance to give it a change
for the better.

if God's willing, i'll put my best effort it in.
with Your guidence, it shall burn the oil, as the flame light up and shine;
Unit Ibadah and Dakwah.

2008-08-20T20:42:00.000+08:00

200808
Praise to Allah.

Who have believed and whose hearts
have rest in the remembrance of Allah.
Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest! (28)

oh Allah,
Hear me weep in despair,
give me Strength as i could no longer bear.
Hold my hands,
don't let me go astray.
Touch my heart,
tell me that there's still love for me.
Occupy my mind
and routinize my lips
with the beautiful Praises of You, oh Allah.

2008-08-15T21:26:00.000+08:00

150808
thank You, Allah.

oh Allah.
its been long though its countable.
its been far a million miles apart.
its been hard and hardest, never facile.
i've been strong, stronger than strong
and even strongest than stronger beyond my expectations.

oh Allah.
this stretch of road called Life i am going through
the obstacles that lies ahead
from easy to complex.
the humans that You sent
with generosity and even with egocentricity.

oh Allah.
i strongly believe that all these are just tests
resulting an improvement to the quality of my Iman.
the advices of hers, are treasured
despite being left alone, Allah is still with me.

oh Allah
if my heart is left vacant,
tell me that You've occupied it.
if my life seems dark
unblind my eyes with Your touch of indomitability
if my emotions run haywire
hold me tight, whisper through my ears that You are here.

oh Allah
i need no special human
nor an extrodinary man
i just need You, Allah
for all these are ~~eternity~~ temporary

i am unpredictable
in which is the reason why You understand best.

2008-08-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

030808
and again.

as i was fine as a sunny day,
a sudden grey-ish raincloud came.
and it spoilt the atmosphere
within a glimpse.

ouch.
it was harsh as it stabs.
it was spontaneous as i stunned.
it happened again, for the uncountable times.
its unbearable, nor unforgettable.
it was nothing more, it was just the words.

bestfriend,
she did it again, once more. hideously.
it breaks my heart. into un-mended pieces.

-akanku bukukan segala isi hati di dalam
diari hatimuku, selamanya.
aku merinduimu.

2008-08-01T23:37:00.000+08:00

010809
the sudden sob.

the soft spoken tune
i can hear through the phone..
with a smile craved on your lips
i am able to see through my mind..
it dispersed into thin airs
as it goes straight to the ear canal
through the ear drum along the way
it seperates itself to the mind and heart.

like a routine it used to happen,
yet i could no longer hear any of it, now.

i yearn those gentle words of yours.
i am sorely missing you, bestfriend.

2008-07-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

260708
lost without you.

a year or two.
thank you.
if we were not fated to meet again in this world,
i've asked God a favour, for giving me the chance
to meet you once more in the
Wonderful Paradise of His, Eternity.
all the very best. you're in my every prayer.
insyaAllah.
thank you, Allah for this special gift.

nine years or more.
thank you.
of all the ups and downs in life
we've went through together ..
of all the conflicts and arguements
we've created between ourselves ..
of all the stupid-yet-adorable mimics
and the hilarious-yet-childish jokes ..

i love you- Sir Isa Hassan.
i love you two- Muhammad Ahmad Dahlan
i love you three- Adi Rusyaidi Rashid
i love you four- Muhammad Abdul Fattah
i love you five- Muhammad Sufyan
i love you six- Ahmad Jazli
i love you seven- 'Aisyah Osman
i love you eight- Nur Hidayah Roslee
i love you nine- Hilwani Mohd Abdul Halim
i love you ten- Siti Nabilah Abdul Aziz
i love you evelen- Amira Syafiqah Hamari
i love you twelve- Nadhzryna Mohd Isham
i love you thirteen- Sumaiyah Mohd Amin
i love you fourteen- Nur Zahidah Borhan
i love you fifteen- Dian Syakirah Shadali
i love you sixteen- Nurul Jannahh
i love you seventeen- Afifah Amran
i love you eighteen- Siti Nur Badriyah Suherman
i love you nineteen- Khairunisa
not forgetting,
i love you twenty- Nurul Syahidah Hanafi
i love you twenty.one- Nurul Hidayah Zakaria
i love you twenty.two- Nur Atikah Malik Yee

the pieces of my life are memories.
memories where are kept deep inside my heart.
forever.

2008-07-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

190708
12:40am.

this was what i felt,
and still feeling.

ouch.
i could feel the pain in my heart,
like a sharp knife smoothly stabs a block of pudding.
oh my god.
i could hear my heart broke into pieces, completely.
like a half-a-million vase thrown onto the floor.
argh.
i could hear my heart whispers solemnly word by word,
why did you make it seem so easy?
sob.
i could no longer hold these tears.

so long and goodbye.
trust me, it was fun.
since you were the one who did it.

2008-07-13T10:48:00.000+08:00

130708
my heart whispers.

kemarin kulihat awan membentuk wajahmu
desah angin meniupkan namamu
tubuhku terpaku

semalam bulan sabit melengkungkan senyummu
tabur bintang serupa kilau auramu
aku pun sadari, ku segera berlari

reff: cepat pulang
cepat kembali, jangan pergi lagi
firasatku ingin kau tuk cepat pulang
cepat kembali, jangan pergi lagi

alirnya bagai sungai yang mendamba samudera
ku tahu pasti kemanakan ku bermuara
semoga ada waktu, sayangku

ku percaya alam pun berbahasa
ada makna di balik semua pertanda
firasat ini rasa rindukah atau kah hanya bayang
aku tak peduli, ku terus berlari

dan lihatlah sayang
hujan terus membasahi
seolah turun air mata

-firasat by Marcell.

p/s: Happy Birthday to Chah! Love you.

2008-07-07T13:16:00.000+08:00

070708
50th years MWTI celebration.

the chemist wanna-be. insyaAllah

chey macam paham~ haha.

with Sir Daddy. =))

aww, my forever Mentor~
Unit Ibadah Mentor and Vice-Leader. *winks*

when we get together..

it fills us with nothing but laughter.

SIR ISA! or OUR SIR TEDDY!
aw. the BEST form teacher ever.

alamak~ sorang je syok sendiri ler..

what can i say?
its the TRIO cuties. haha!

the two days celebration was quite hectic
and tiring of course.
yet the experience we gained were so much fun,
as it washed away the tires and sighs.

insyaAllah.insyaAllah.insyaAllah.

2008-07-01T14:50:00.000+08:00

010708
my love for you.

two days of not attending school.
due to a fever and diarrheoa.
but thanks to Allah,
i feel slightly better although
still with a little headache.

i thank God for giving me this illness
i know i've neglet You for quite sometime.
even though i used to say that You are
always remembered for every breath i took..
i guess all of those were empty words
as what happened yesterday night
took myself back and makes me wonder..

the beauty of love was undescribeable.
the sweet taste of love can never
make one stop yearning for it once more..
although at times i was reminded,
i heed the advice yet did nothing.

oh Allah, i seek your forgiveness
for i have forgotten whats Priority.
truthfully,
love for a Creator, can never be compared
to a love for His creation.
though i am not able to See You, nor Touch You..
i feel You inside me.
whenever i look up to the skies, You are in mind
and then comes the creation of Yours.
whenever (s)He is remembered, it links me to
remember You.
for (s)He is Loved by me becuase of You, God.

oh Allah, you hear my heart whispers..
as i weep in sorrow.
within a countable days, (s)He'll fly far..
a million miles away from my view
yet only You know where (s)He is
placed in heart.

oh Allah, if we are not fated to meet again,
do let us meet again in the Wonderful
Paradise of yours in the hereafter.
(s)He has done so much to me..
for You can see the difference in me
(s)He has made me into; the first Ramadhan
i went through, that made my life more
meaningful.
i love thee, Allah. i love you, His creation.

2008-06-29T16:51:00.000+08:00

290608
some snapped images of yesterdays'.

eh eh, couple of the day? hehe..

cousins unite, though its incomplete.

the Girls.

i wonder who'll take the name my Sister-in-law

zzzalifa. zzzakiah. fffadiilah

zakiah with kak fizza.

zakiah with kak ain.

its glad to reunite with cousins.

but its sad as i missed the moment

to see the bride and the groom.

it was a beautiful day.

im taking you with me, forever.

2008-06-27T22:34:00.000+08:00

270608
lost of words.

Somewhere in me
Something disappears
I'm trying to let go
Of the rusted anger

I'll become a bird
And fly over the bustle
Hesitation becomes my wings
Everything is shaken off
Life
My life
My fragile life
At last, I realize it

This arm is extended
Becoming a branch and stalk
By forgetting you
I can reach the sky

In the center of the crowd
Washed away by the rythm
Somebody siezes my leg
As I softly pass through

translated japanese song.
-rasen- by Chihiro Onitsuka.

2008-06-15T13:17:00.000+08:00

150608
dedicate to you, my love.

worth the wait.
by Jordin Sparks.

Ooh

I feel what I've been feeling for you
Means I am falling for you
Something's opened up inside of me
And I dream In shades that only can be
The colors of you and me
I think we both know what that means
I stand inside this promise I made to myself
That I was meant for you

If I fall
If I break
If I lose myself in someone
If I give all I am it'll be with you
When I'm ready to take
All that you want me to give
It will be worth the wait
Worth the wait It will be worth the wait

My heart I wanna save it for you
Don't want it broken into pieces
I need myself to be whole
And could we just sit and talk a while
Just wanna see you smile
Feel your sunlight
Shining over me

Worth all the long nights dreaming of forever
Someday we will be together
I know it will have been so worth the wait
Ooh Please wait for me

my heart you own, forever.

2008-06-11T11:45:00.000+08:00

110608
the word.

its beyond words to describe
the feeling of miss to you.
its not that i don't want to go,
but its just the presence that made me fear..
the fear that'd turn out haywire.
i didn't want to hurt you, neither do i want to
hurt myself as what i've been doing all along.

maybe i still need time.
time needed for this heart to have a space.
to heal? i doubt that'll happen.
scratches and scars, i'll take those as prove
of that you were once given to me by Allah.

i have to,
i have to be strong.
stronger than strong
even strongest than stronger.

i don't hestitate,
but there's too many queries
been left un-answered.

im tired.

2008-06-07T19:44:00.000+08:00

070608
kekasihku~

luahan rinduku buatmu kekasih hati.

-I am in love with you, you set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
'cause I am dangerously in Love with you
I'll never leave just lovin' me the way I love you loving me.

i can't specify who you are to me and My life.
neither do i want to know.
Hanya dirimu yang ku inginkan,
matamu yang memukau,
suaramu menusuk di kalbuku yang
melemahkan jantungku dengan kata-kata cintamu.
dan hanya Cintamu yang ku dambakan.

ya Allah, apakah ini yang dimaksudkan dengan
Indahnya sebuah Cinta?
tetapi pahitnya pabila berjauhan terasa bagai
menikam jiwa.

aku cinta kamu, kekasih~
Qam ana mushtaqah ilaik, fi a'maqil Qalbi.

2008-05-29T22:41:00.000+08:00

290508
its over.

finally.
of all the trainings we've gone through,
of all the sighs and complains we've made,
i suppose its all worthwhile.
i am touched to see Coach broke into tears,
i am touched to see the teachers cheering for us,
i am touched to see my friends came by to support ..

thank You Allah.
thank You Coach Aidah.
thank You teammates.
thank You everyone.
i love you all so much.

first place, means everything to us.
congrats to Juniors,
and never forgotten, the Supporting Seniors!
Congratulations! we did our very best.
and im sure this is the best reward we get. =))

2008-05-26T15:14:00.000+08:00

260508
no air.

it is hard for me to breathe.
but i stumbled a thousand times.
i can no longer bear it.

its okey to suffocate.
its okey to have lack of air.
but its not okey to let this heart die.
i can't breathe.

i refuse to take in Air.
i deny the importance of Air in life.

i ain't gonna stand upon the two of you.
period.

2008-05-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

240508
to describe.

here's a song,
dedicate to Mon Magnifique.

No air - Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Ohh

[Chris Brown]
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
wish there was a way that I can make you understand

[Jordin Sparks]
But how do you expect me to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:][Both]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
That´s how I feel whenever you ain't there
that's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
there's no air, no air

[Chris Brown]
I walked, I ran, I jumped,
I flew Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

[Jordin Sparks]
But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

you are the air that i breathe.

2008-05-23T21:01:00.000+08:00

230508
it ends.

report book.
praise to Allah, i am thankful.
i did my very best
and i will do better for the upcoming exams.
thank You Allah.
thank you Every each one of you who
never ge tired of motivating and supporting me.
i love you, Allah.
i love you All.

Tamally maak
We law hata ba eed any,
Fe alby hawak.

Tamally maak
tamally fe baly we fe alby
Wala bansak
Tamally waheshny,
Low hata bakoon waiak.

Tamally habibi bashtaklak
Tamally alaya men badlak
We law hawalaya kol el doon
Ta ool ya habibi bahtaglak.

Tamally maak
Maak alby, maak rohy
Ya aghla habib
Ya aghla habib.

heya aghla habib; Our precious Love. Our hearts' Delight.
. Engs n Beds .

2008-05-16T03:30:00.000+08:00

160508.
3:30 am.

oh God.
i don't think im able to survive.
i don't think i'll ever be ready.
i don't think i'll ever wanna go through.
for whatever that lies ahead,
i can't take it anymore.

you're a part of me.
Don't, don't leave me.

2008-05-15T17:29:00.000+08:00

150508
finally, like eternally.

bak kate pepatah sir isa : aku bebas!!~
it went alright as the last paper went okey as well.
hand starts to numb due to the freezing aircon
and the long-winded answers .. but im happy. Not?
i'll be happier if you are, too. wholeheartedly. *smiles*

oh, somewhat i just realised how Grateful i am
for having such a *insert a suitable adjective* teacher.
he is one, heart's delight that whenever i get to take a glance
at him, everything turns calm and okey.
like the every exam days when i was stressed-out over the
paper, but when he appeared before us..
awwww~ okeyy, i suppose the secondary three-two's
might be able to understand my situation.
its just as wonderful.

oh Sir, all those sweet filled with laughter memories
can never be disremembered.
-Doakan saye eh Sir.
-Untuk ape?
-Pass exam lahhh Sir.

oh Allah do bless him with a blissful and healthy Life
as much as he deserves. we Love you, Sir Isa.

2008-05-09T20:16:00.000+08:00

090508
tough.

to fulfill as promised.

oh Allah, please give me the strength
to overcome everything that lies
ahead, know or the unknown.

a promise, not to be broken.

2008-05-07T15:00:00.000+08:00

070508
to describe a situation.

its cloudy-white.
fogs and mist, where it turns solid-ice.
its freezing. its shivering.
chills of the breeze that runs down my spine.
everything seems empty by the way it stood
heartlessly,
alike the happiness and soul are sucked by dementors.

i could hardly breathe.

2008-05-02T20:40:00.000+08:00

020508
to let a heart out.

then i shall go through it for the Third time.

never never never never never never
never never never never never never
never never never never never never
never never never never never never
never never never

because

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want
i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want
i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want
i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want
i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want
i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want
i don't want i don't want i don't want

TWENTY-SEVEN times.

2008-04-27T17:33:00.000+08:00

270408
i confessed.

easy as it may seem. no.
it was tough beyond imagination.
words were all arranged neatly in mind,
yet the courage gathered wasn't enough
and never is.
for you,
i did.
i confessed.
for the first time since we met.
thank You for appreciating it.

yes i really mean it.
thank You for understanding.
i mark today, the 27th a day that can never be disremember.

2008-04-27T00:23:00.000+08:00

260408
emotional.

change.
either to the right path or to astray.
neither do nor will you realise.
but in lieu of that, the surroundings does.
nonetheless, just be your own self.
because there are uncountable souls out there,
loving you.

i surrender.
i couldn't be more frank to you, so here it goes.
i'm having this strong irrefutable feelings
of wanting to know a that somebody.
saye suke die.
i don't know why, let aside wanting to know why.
its just that; i want to know.
it isn't wrong, is it, Mon Magnifique?

let it end here.

2008-04-21T10:04:00.000+08:00

200408
i yearn.

a glimpse, where it all started.
i hestitate, is she?
a chance i took to stare
and to identify for ensure.

my vision, locked at her.
the beautiful face, firm yet sweet.
in a War she is fighting.
pain and torment,
all beyond imagination.

she lift her hand towards me, i shook.
my eyes glands started secreting clear-salty liquid.
oh Allah, i yearn to fight along till the end.
oh Allah, i yearn for it.

2008-04-14T10:18:00.000+08:00

130408
just a piece.

misplace-missing-lost.
the piece of my Life's jigsaw.
nowhere could it be found.
a complete different atmosphere.
without the glaring ray of Sun that enlightens the day,
nor the Moon that beautifies the gloomy night.

i couldn't withstand.
i shouldn't carry on.
i would've tumble.
and wouldn't have the courage
to stand and walk once more.

2008-04-13T10:11:00.000+08:00

120408
just isn't right.

misplaced my spectacles.
truly hope that someone brought it with them
unknowingly and kindly return it back
to me when Monday comes.

atrocious thinking
and horrendous illusions.
the silence of you.
a life not complete.
the missing piece of Life's jigsaw.
glad to meet you. i think so.

i don't feel anything in this spur of moment.
everything's mixed up akin to a packet
of assortment chocolate.
the taste of heavenly and undelectable.

Happy Birthday, Mon Magnifique.
thank you for the entirely everything.

2008-03-31T11:55:00.000+08:00

300308
Hear the keys.

its the emotion.
like someone in despair.
like a lover having an altercation.
like fighting for one's right.
like soldiers defeated in a war.
like an athlete competing for his Country.
like the Islamic Warriors who fought for the name of Allah.
like me, feeling utterly disappointed-
searching the truth. finding a solution.
to free myself from this Maze of life.

for the last second of my Breathe;
i solemnly supplicate upon you Oh my Gracious God,
i am trying my very best to be a Good human.
for i truly yearn to see the smile craven on my love one's lips,
do give her strength to overcome everything that lies ahead.
do let her know that she deserves the best
and that You've left a gift for her, here or in the Hereafter.

2008-03-22T12:53:00.000+08:00

210308
hear my sorrow.

where did I go wrong?
this mind asks spontaneously,
as it sings bitterly alike an unpleasant song,
for this heart endlessly seeks for an answer, earnestly.

solemnly i supplicate upon you, oh God,
to show a sign for i have lead to misdeed,
helpless unless a help from the Only You, my Lord,
because you are eternally there when i am in need.

Mon Magnifique, i plead you an apology,
for the unintentional misdeed i have made,
the flaws i own shows my weakness of being a human who is ordinary,
as the Hereafter is where i will be paid.

i am still lost in the field of confusion.
you made my vision obsure.

2008-03-17T03:01:00.000+08:00

160308
delightful.

a day of qiyam.
less then twenty-four hours.
we broke into laughters.
we smiles with joy.
even though we felt lethargic
yet the experiences i had can never be compared to it.
the committees
the participants
the qiyam that made me feel the bond of Ukhuwah between them.

the Committees

Programmer. FnB. Manpower. Logistics.

2008-03-11T14:03:00.000+08:00

100308
siblings outing.

In spite of the pouring rain,
we still proceed to what has planned.
from not-so-early in the morning,
till the late evening. heee.
i had fun. and thank You kakak and abang.
i love you both~ *grins*

we played not bad *wink*

brother seems to get bored waiting.
oh well~ girls shopping.

the camera was forgotten,
somehow only two images were taken.

2008-03-09T12:29:00.000+08:00

080308
loved.

it all went as planned.
not concering of the time.
even if we were given loads and tons
of work to be completed,
it is not impossible if you take per step at a time.
and this week is absolute hectic, no doubt about that.

we laughed our hearts out.
as i can imagine the are-to-be-digest soluble food
vibrates vigorously inside this small intestine
yet stomach for proteins. lawl.

Masjid Al-Mukminin.
the place were Myra and I
were exicted as it amazed us.
in the life; we jumped and scream in amazement.
in the toilet; we jumped and scream in excitement.
in the prayer hall; we jumped and rolled on the comfy carpet.
an unforgetable experience indeed.

Jurong.
the place where you can behold
the skies vividly like never before.
i like i like i like! *chuckles*

Glad to meet you. =))

2008-03-07T15:01:00.000+08:00

060308
oh Allah.

it took its homecoming.
and result me in this condition.
this unfavourable self.
basically filled with negetive thinkings.
and to just ravage every single
bits and pieces of the enthusiastic.

i am literally back to my ownself,
Mon Cheri Magnifique.
for just a spur of moment.
im hoping.

Oh Allah~
regretfully, i failed to keep myself in patient.
i got carried away with all these emotions.
i truthfully seek Your forgiveness and Your Love.
Do give me the strength to vanquish
everything that lies ahead as a hindrance
from making this self a better human.

2008-03-04T11:14:00.000+08:00

030308
random.

none realises how fast time flies
as you walked non-stop throughout
the journey called life. new peoples. new experiences.
at times, it didn't cross your mind
thinking of how or why you'd get to meet
that person along our journey.
neither do you ever imagine how grateful
you are to get to meet that person.
yet in the end, You never-ending, thanking God
for giving that person in your Life.

even if you are to fly a million miles away,
you are always in mind.
since this self is the prove for that i met you
along the journey of my Life.

the Air and the Sky,
the Moon that witnessed.
Thank You.

2008-02-29T16:00:00.000+08:00

290208
my apologies.

i took a stride back.
to comprehend what i was told.
to wonder what i have done.
i didn't see myself in the guilty position by then.
tried to put myself in her shoes,
and i assume what i was told, were truthfully true.
i didn't take it to heart.
as it made me think of something i've never thought about.
and a lesson i should learn.

apologies for my lack of caring.
and this self for being so self-centered.

thank you, You.
you made this mind think wiser.
i Love you. *grins*

2008-02-24T17:05:00.000+08:00

240208
origin.

the song has changed.
due to the changing emotion of mine.
yet whether the lyrics are descibing the situation,
i ain't sure.

twenty-four hours ago
i'd get to pour the feeling of miss
the moment i get to speculate you.
both from a distance and from a step.
enliven with a bliss that result
a never last engraved smile on this lips.

a countable image were snapped
as to take me to yesterdays.
the day i say our charactertistics
took their homecoming to where they belong.

despite knowing that words can never
express one's feelings,
i insists. saying
that i was elated for getting to see you.

somehow this heart shatters to the number of pieces.
not knowing nor wanting to know the reason why.

2008-02-19T09:56:00.000+08:00

180208
a sudden.

smiling.
wondering how do you do.
reminiscing the sweet things happened.
praying for the best of you.

a sudden feeling of miss.
i miss hearing your problems.
i miss hearing your experiences.
i miss hearing advices.
i miss hearing your voice.

like how we used to.
but its understood that each of us
has our own tasks to be completed.

you knew i am neiter good at advicing
nor am i good at giving a point of view.
yet i can be a good listener.
even so, you'd share with me your problems.
as it result you with a little ease of mind.
and it results me with a delight seeing you that way.
a blissfulness.

i am not asking. nor am i yearning.
but im just telling that im missing.

love me to the number of petals.

2008-02-17T13:15:00.000+08:00

160208
MELODRAMATIC.
its fiction.

everything started when ..
i sat with anger conquering the entire me.
Fee was infront of me. beholding and staring.

me: "What is your problem?"
Fee: *silence* - i could hear wind blows-
me: "I am talking to you .. stop staring!"
Fee: *silence* - i could hear a pin drop -
me: "ahhhhhhh!"

a tight squeeze was given.
a punch was given directly on his face.
a bite on his ears was given.

yet before i had the strength to throw ...
the Smile engraved on him
breaks into fragments and melts all the anger in me
alike a strong impact of throwing an ice on the wall.

"Ohh Fee my Love, i apologise.
that smiles of yours is just too powerful."

- bites and squeezes, compensate it with hugs and kisses. -
=))

2008-02-10T15:03:00.000+08:00

090208
whispers.

you ought to be close to them
even when you were once a kid.
but you tend to feel the differences
being close to them when you grow older.
as it at times could broke you down
into tears thinking of the deeds they did.
with love. with care. with support and understanding.

you stopped. and took a glance.
as it touched your heart
wanting to take care of them like how they did
as an exchange to repay their kindness.
praying for their well-being with an eternally Bless by Allah.
Amin.

thank You, Aunties and Uncles.
ya'll are Loved till the rest of my Life.
InsyaAllah.

2008-02-08T14:49:00.000+08:00

070208
for you and me.

it can't be denied
that every mankind has their own flaws.
hatred. dislike. angry.
commonly those feelings do exist in us.
you hate that person.
you dislike that person.
you feel angry towards that person.
but dosen't it all comes back to you,
since you and that particular Human are alike?

when you hate that human,
its as though you hated your own humankind,
isn't it akin to you yourself?
you'd feel angry towards that human,
its as though you feel angry towards God's Creation
that He has made.
and when you dislike that human,
don't you ever think that other human has disliked you before?

to be patient is never an easy task.
but i can assure that patient will
result your heart as ease.

- la tagdhob walakal Jannah -

2008-02-04T03:26:00.000+08:00

030208
the same feelings.

opinions and queries.
a point of view and answers.
the words that were spoken
at times are just meaningless.
its empty and it dosent come from the heart.
owing to, not yearning to hurt
and you Thought that it would turn out good.
even though deep inside you know, you don't adore.

its not that you don't wanna speak.
its not that you wanna lie.
its just that sometimes you speculate
where you stand. and what you own.
because you'd wanna see one happy.
but it result you with guilt and blameworthiness
for not playing a part as a friend to speak your mind.

i apologise.
and i still love you.

2008-01-28T14:02:00.000+08:00

270108
another piece.

its hideous to wreak one's happiness.
indeed he pours the hatred on me.
i want to yell. i want to scream.
i wish i could turn back time to
make everything right even though
i know, its impossible.
moreover, i cherish and love them.

it deepens, reached my heart.
the soothing rhythm.
the beautiful voice.
never paused in mind since then.
i wanna hear you sing.
once more.

a thousand apologies.
and a thousand thank You.
i hope you broke the ice.
because even if you didn't,
still, You know me best.

2008-01-19T15:06:00.000+08:00

180108
wrong.

that unpleasant expression of yours.
the feelings of unsatisfied and unhappy.
where did i go wrong?
or what did i do?
it was awful. and still is.

im sick and tired.

2008-01-13T14:54:00.000+08:00

120108
to speculate.

opinions and queries.
a point of view and answers.
the words that were spoken
at times are just meaningless.
its empty and it dosent come from the heart.
owing to, not yearning to hurt
and you Thought that it would turn out good.
even though deep inside you know, you don't adore.

its not that you don't wanna speak.
its not that you wanna lie.
its just that sometimes you speculate
where you stand. and what you own.
because you'd wanna see one happy.
but it result you with guilt and blameworthiness
for not playing a part as a friend
to speak your mind.

i apologise.
and i love you.

2008-01-07T12:30:00.000+08:00

060108
i hate long posts.

its funny when sometimes you look around
and wonder. in which you end up taking that
as the issue of your post for the day.

okey here it goes.
at times when i look at the people around me,
the way they tease. the way they talk behind others back.
the way they think they are the best.
i confess that i did that at times. thats the reason i wonder why.
because its so wrong.

i used to think too much of how people look at me.
but now i suppose i don't give a damn.
because each day i can assure you that i get to know myself
a little much deeper and more in detail.
its like when i hear someone tease me, talk behind my back
or whatever they did. whats in mind is just,
" its their mouth. whatever they say, they are wrong
'cause they don't know me. "
and sometimes when i think back, i guess they did that
with a reason of they've been teased by others.
its like a never ending chain, you see.
they talks about me, and her friends talk about her, and so on ..

i aint sure why i feel like saying all these.
but seriously, i need to build up my self-confidence.
and forget thinking about what people think of me.
all the things that im needed to do is just to give.
i don't really care if i never had the chance to take.
letting others happy, satisfies me in other way.

you, are my mystery who i yearn to get to know.

2007-12-31T13:59:00.000+08:00

301207
beholds.

this self felt uncomfortable.
this mind was in chaos.
this heart pounded fast.
this eyes looked away twice.

the first glimpse.
you behold long.
not knowing who you are,
neither where you live,
nor whats your name.
yet your image ain't fading away from my view.
with and without my eyes open.

you.are my mystery.

p.s:
here.
is to view the images that were snapped. happy viewing.

2007-12-19T12:38:00.000+08:00

181207
here i go.

tomorrow it is.
a week it will be.
yearning for some happiness.
for sweet smiles from my heart.
meaningfully.

i'll be missing you too, mon magnifique.
my Gorgeous. it means.
take care. promise me that.

so long and goodnight.

2007-12-17T09:51:00.000+08:00

161207
through the journey.

it suddenly crossed my mind
wondering how is it like to look
at things normally. just a look
or a glimpse and just that.
for this moment, i yearn for that.

you get carried away with your emotions
so high, so far. and when it stops. you fall.
you stand up once more. and continue your journey
not knowing what lies ahead.
hoping for the blissfulness. yeaning for the best.
along the road you stopped somewhere you get
a new piece of memory,
new experience. new friend. new ambience.
kept safely in the heart and mind.both the bitter and the sweet.
once you found something, you tend to get carried away.
and you fall. as it revoles alike the moon spins on its own axis
not knowing when to stop nor where the dead end is.

thats just it; Life.

2007-12-15T16:20:00.000+08:00

151207
thats just it.

i was laughing out of the other side of my mouth.
but then, things turned out pretty well.

it cant be denied that most of our memories can't be captured
by the photo-capturing device; a camera.
because it couldn't capture alike how these eyes
and mind picture the situation together with emotions.
but memories are meant to be kept in mind.
even if you felt the delightness within a jiffy,
and it remains as the piece of your memory
that dosen't just lasts for a second yet
every second of your life.

sometimes the feelings just too strong for us
to overcome it and we result a lost against it
and get carried away by it. so high, so far ..
you ain't sure when will it fades away, or maybe never.
you yearn for it so much.
you want it so much.
yet suddenly, miraculously it stops and you fell.
you stood up once more and start anew.
it revoles in a circle with no ending.

thats just it;feelings.

2007-12-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

121207
11:39pm

this heinous ambience.
no longer any smiles.
for this instant, i've lost once more.
its tough and never easy, Gorgeous.

2007-12-05T11:28:00.000+08:00

051207
its time.

tomorrow it'll be the Day.
december the 6th.
the Day for us.
for me and you.

All the very best.
you're in my every prayer.
may God be with us.
take care.

2007-12-02T02:56:00.000+08:00

Aku berharap semuanya mengerti
Sebagai bukti ku tiada bermimpi
Sekian lama..Ku sering menelan kutukan
Ku tenggelam dalam kelam pekat
Ku berharap mereka fahami
Kutetap bisa terbangun
Walau harus lalui perjalanan sunyi

Aku tak ingin memaksakan siapapun
Tuk mengerti aku
Namun ku ingin mengatakan
Aku sedang melawan perasaanku sendiri
Memerangi gejolak pedih sepi
Sesungguhnya niatku baik disisi DIA

Kusedari,Ku telah menjadi bunga layu tanpa seri
Kupu kupu indah dengan sayap patah
Burung yang kehilangan kicaunya
Bintang kecil dengan sinar yang redup
Hingga anginpun berhenti bertiup
Tiada ingin menyapa ku lagi
Semua meninggalkan diriku

Hari hariku dipenuhi tanda tanya
Semua begitu samar terasa
Ketika pagi terasa asing ku temui
Ketika senja menjelma misteri
Dan bintang malam terasa asing sinarnya
Semua membuatku tak menentu
Membuatku hanya dapat terdiam terpaku

Yang pasti ku nyatakan disini
Kerana Engkau Aku cuba perbaiki diri
Bagai banduan menebus dosa
Tika dibebaskan dari panca roba
Burung di dalam sangkar
Terbang mencari arahnya
Ya! Aku perlu bimbingan darinya

Ternyata masih ada bintang malam disana
Yang selalu memperhatikan dari kejauhan
Datang merentang tangan
Memeluk erat inginku tentang sebuah jawab
Mencuba memadamkan gelora sunyiku
Lewat hangat pancaran sinar kasihnya

Menjanjikan sebuah harapan baru
Bersama menyibak segala yang samar
Ada senyum terukir disana meski gelisah masih terasa
Entah mengapa...Senyum membias begitu saja membuatku terpesona

Kita yang telah lama memeluk sepi
Kini berharap mimpi kebahagiaan mengisi
Saatnya untuk tegar
Sekalian wahai kawan
Berilah aku sokongan....

2007-12-01T07:50:00.000+08:00

1st of Dec '07
7.51am.

it couldn't endure any longer.
these tears of mine kept rolling
since the past fifty-two minutes.
i wept. and weep. and still weeping.
i don't have the strength to fight
against this tremendous emotion.
i never felt so dishearten.

i wish that you know.
i apologise.
and i thought it would be better
to silently drift myself apart from you.
as those sentences made me wonder;
you shouldn't have told.
deep inside. it hurt me badly.

i know that, only You know. still.

2007-11-30T23:44:00.000+08:00

301107
(insert title)

its been eons since i last heard
this erm, neighbour of mine
cursing non-stop by his kitchen window
in which is directly opposite my house servise balcony.
he starts again yesterday after having a long
holiday; for the sake of his throat i suppose.
he starts swearing and cursing with too much of his
profane oath. and when i behold to those,
HAH! multi-language la sey. and that consists of
English - Mandarin - Malay.
ok but somehow, i think he really needs a treatment.

anyway, for today's first Game of the monthsss
was pretty interesting. Playing in the rain wasn't
that bad after all. yet we stop and resume
when it goes drizzle and it gradually cease.

its true that sometimes things are better to be left
Unspoken.

2007-11-27T10:02:00.000+08:00

271107
its nice.
thats so a wonderful dream of mine.
a stupendous illusion.
much loves that includes my cousins,
the Seven us. and even his brother.
its even better there wasn't any presence of him.

this dream.
its nice you know. reallly nice.
even though you'd wake up having aches all over.
yet you don't feel like waking up
as if you want this dream to be reality.
if only i could wish for that. heh
okey maybe i could?
and that'll be just for the sweetest part. *winks*

an entire day for not texting.
life seems kind of blend.dull.
so much things to be said when it comes to you, ey?
just take care there. and yah,
All the very bestt for today and tomorrow.

. Happy Birthday to Kakak.
May you will be eternally blessed by Allah .

2007-11-25T16:54:00.000+08:00

251107
torment.

Lari, lari, lari
Aku lari tingalkan semua ini
Untuk mencari, cari, cari
Ketenangan diri

Pergi, pergi, pergi
Engkau pergi dari hidupku ini
Ku tak mahu, mahu
Engkau hadir dalam diri ini

Keluhan hatiku tak siapa yang tahu
Ku simpan semua sebak di dada
Biar ku yang terluka
Pernahkah kau mengerti caraku memujukmu
Pernahkah kau hargai caraku mencintaimu

Lafaskan kata dari bibir
Adakahnya dari hati
Mungkin kau tak fahami maksudnya yang tersembunyi
Titisan air mata dari pipi ke bumi
Pernahkah kau peduli betapa sedih diriku ini

Mengapa
Aku yang terluka
Aku yang merana
Aku yang menahan sisa baki cinta ini
Engkau yang meminta
Aku yang sengsara
Rimas, rimas aku rimas

thanks to you, Gorgeous.
it does suits my condition.
and now its my newest obsession.

still, and forever.
only you know.

2007-11-24T10:00:00.000+08:00

241107
this is Life.

you are always here.
to lent your shoulder
for me to cry or to lean on.
to lent your ears for me
to hear the stories of my Life.
advices and consoles i get in return.
still telling me to be patient
as theres always a reason why it happened.
no point dwelling on it since its over.
looking forward for the light that shines through.

myutmostsuperbcooliogorgeousnumerouno,
still, only you know.
im missing you.

~Mengapa
Aku yang terluka
Aku yang merana
Aku yang menahan sisa baki cinta ini
Engkau yang meminta
Aku yang sengsara
Rimas, rimas aku rimas.

2007-11-22T12:22:00.000+08:00

221107
soft hearted.

you were here.
patting on my shoulder.
telling me to be patient.
as i wont be losing anything.
by then, everything would turn alright.
lets just hope for that.

this feelings does fades away,
yet it comes unexpectedly with full of
agony. anguish. torment. pain.
i shouldn't have dawdled my time on you.
i shouldn't have. i shouldn't have.

im such a jerk.
myutmostsuperbcooliogorgeousnumerouno,
only you know.

. Happy Birthday to Bestfriend
May you will be eternally blessed by Allah.
i miss you .

2007-11-20T18:13:00.000+08:00

201107
its all about PinkandBlue.

it was Wonderful.

it was Beautiful.

it was Terrific.

it was Fun.

it brings an everlasting smile on this face of mine.

Thank You.
for giving me this piece of memory.
and it feels Great to know that you ~~Like~~ Love it.